According to the article, 87-year-old Eleanor died in Monroe, North Carolina on the morning of November 29 while in hospice care. Hours later, Frank, unaware that his wife had died, suffered respiratory failure and followed her.
Their love story is one for the ages. Frank and Eleanor met at a car dealership back in 1948 where Frank was shopping for a ride and Eleanor was working as a secretary. When asked if he wanted to test drive a car, Frank responded, “Yes, but only if I can take your secretary with me,” the couple’s daughter Linda Purser told the Charlotte Observer.
The couple’s bond lasted over six decades and produced two children and three grandchildren.
Purser told the Observer that her parents’ marriage was strong until the end. Before Eleanor was moved to hospice care, Frank looked after her even while the pair lived in a nursing home together. “[Frank] was still able to walk, and she wasn’t. She was supposed to pull a cord to alert the staff when she needed something, but she’d just call him instead,” Purser explained.
“He was doing stuff he wasn’t supposed to be doing. He did for her anything she wanted because he just adored her so much. And she sure loved him, too,” she added.
The two were buried together at Lakeland Memorial Park in North Carolina.
Someone might be well-versed in social justice issues, may have read all the literature, might be really good at organizing people. Maybe others look up to them, maybe they’re an “expert”. Maybe they’re a social media wizard.
But maybe they’re also condescending. Maybe they’re aggressively self-centred. Fighting the “good fight” does not give anybody a free pass to be a shitty person. Oh, so you can analytically unpack institutionalized racism - clearly that means you can talk down to people who know less than you. OH you understand the nuances and intricacies of mental health issues - please, go ahead and eschew any opportunities for constructive criticism about yourself because everyone else is wrong, and you are always right.
When a poisonous personality bleeds into activism, it is frustrating. There is a difference between anger and hate. Hate is about destruction. Anger is about change. (see: Audre Lorde, Uses of Anger) When one person’s hate is masquerading as anger, it discredits all of us who are really angry. It makes a mockery of those of us who want real, lasting change.
Come here, armed with your anger, ready to do the hard things.
Do not come here, filled with your hate, pretending to be a team player when really you’re only looking out for #1.